Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
