I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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