I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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