I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
