Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
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