there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
