I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Randomize
