she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
