so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Randomize
