I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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