I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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