So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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