brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
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