Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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