So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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