I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
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