Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
