Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
