is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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