PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Watching her eat just hurts me
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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