I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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