My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
