You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
