I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Send help, water and tortillas.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize