he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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