This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize