Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
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