Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
