party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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