Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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