ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
