so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize