Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
