I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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