So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
