Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
