who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Alive.
So much puke
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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