porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
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