Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Randomize
