Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
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