I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
