Don't make out with my wife yet
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
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