what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
