are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize
