I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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