Just cropdusted the office
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
