I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
