im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
