bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
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