Apparently you make a good broom.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
