? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
