Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
