I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
