new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
