Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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