we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize