the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize
