Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
